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When your new pal is vegetarian also. Awwww yeah!!!!

I made a friend last Friday. She's everything I ever wanted in a friend. And to top it off, another friend of mine started going to the beauty school over here. So we can hang out during my lunch break.

I'm truly blessed. Because I was so hurt at the world. For being so alone all the time.

I went to my first evaluation yesterday, for a therapist. I'm going back next Tuesday to finish it.

It hurts to go through my past. And every time its a different thing that hurts.

This time, remembering how much the art teachers bullied me, hurt. Why didn't they like me? :( Obviously the answer is because I wasn't foreign or rich. But it hurts. It hurts god damn it.

I'd love to meet Daniel Clowes one day. Would be like meeting Edina Coleslaw in person. *Happy sigh* :) I dream big.

I want him to sign my copy of eight ball.

I would love to see the movie, I smile back, when it comes out. Starring Sarah Silverman. Its a drama about depression.

Maybe it'll make me feel better about stuff.

I'm not surprised to see her in a drama. Remember how mean she was in the school of rock? She can do drama.



Welp! I better get my ass up to take a shower. I just woke up. I wanna enjoy myself this weekend. I deserve it. Going to wear the clothes I want too. I like scrubs but my god, won't it feel nice to wear a little plaid skirt and look pretty. :3

I could wear the new pleather fringe skirt I got too but, ehhh, another time, in case it rains lol. Story behind that one was that it was the last one. Only a size 8 and it fit perfectly. :P

An update about me. Switching to this journal for now. Sooo, I've been getting worse, mentally. My bf's been talking me out of the crazy posts but I still share them. I'm just frustrated.

Fir reasons I can't begin to get into. You wouldn't understand.

So the guy I saw said he was just for walk ins. And that I sound like I need medication. But as motivation, he wanted me to go to a clinic closer to me so I could get treated faster. Funny enough, they're taking their sweet ass time lol.So bleh. I'm only agreeing to meds if they fully explain it and if I can go off. I never liked the idea.

I just can't control my panic attacks anymore.

I don't think he understands that dispite his diagnosis, its more than that. But oh.. I never tell them everything. Which gets on my bf's nerves lol. Because he cares.

Tomorrow I'm going up to visit him. Im going to see WalMart for the first time.